Nip Insurance

I forgot to mention that the insurance on my nipples has come through!!! Now they're insured for a cool $500,000 each...

BUT...that means I can't get them pierced like I had planned (I thought it would be cool to get rings in them) but that might be okay. I had a friend once who had her nipples pierced and one day when she was taking off her mesh catsuit, she snagged one of the rings and ripped it out. Her boyfriend--who bought her the boobs to start with--was so pissed off about it that he broke up with her.

Anyway, I can't get the tattoos that I was considering, either. I thought about having some little flowers done all around them. Or a unicorn or something cute. But then I thought about it and realized that tattoos would SEVERELY limit my choice in movie roles. Angelina Jolie might be able to get away with looking like a circus freak, but my fans have come to expect a certain classiness about my nipples, and I'm not going to disappoint them.

I'm thinking about getting my ass insured too...I figure $250,000 per cheek might be cool. It won't pay up if I get fat, though. I asked.