So a good friend and I were talking about a movie he's doing the FX for: "WereSEXkittens of the Apocalypse." I had auditioned for the lead role of Bianca, but shockingly, I didn't get the role because I had an allergy to the cheap fake fur the producers demanded the FX guys use. I think it was dog fur from China. I was also allergic to the producer, who demanded that I "audition" privately with him and perform the Werekitten (that's what I would have turned into...a wereSEXkitten) Dance of a Thousand Lusts for him in his office.
That's what sucks, because I really worked on that dance. I mean, I was GOOD. I started off acting like I'm cleaning myself like a cat (I took yoga, so I'm super flexible) and then I start stripping off all kinds of veils until I'm in a g-string and pasties. Plus, I'd be covered in fur (because I'm a wereSEXkitten).
What a waste of time that was. Producers like that should have their balls cut off, blended with rat poison in a smoothie, and forced to drink it while being shot.
Anyway...I just got some good news! Steffy Von Kronk has dropped out of the lead role in "Return of the Skin Parasites," so it looks like I'm going to star in it! I'll be playing Dr. Diana Duggan, the beautiful dermatologist who must find a way to stop the skin parasites from planet Noxima from taking over the world. There's one scene where I get a brilliant flash of inspiration while having sex with Vince Vargo, my leading man, and I jump up naked and run to my microscope and figure out how to cure the parasites--it'll get me nominated for a SKINNIE award for sure!
I'll have more info on it later. Too bad about ""WereSexKittens," but I know my friend Erich will do a great job on the FX. Once he fires that dumbass that the director insisted work with him (the guy thinks the way you make liquid latex is to put rubber gloves in a blender!).
Ta and toodles for now!
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