Identity Crisis

Oh my God, people!

There are some ignorant idiots out there who are actually saying I'm not a real person! ME! Star of over forty-five films!

I'm just...I can't believe it!

There are some nasty rumors out there (probably circulated by some skank...STEFFY!) saying that I'm not really an actress and that this whole thing is fake. It's hurtful and it's mean and it makes me want to cry (but of course I won't because then I'd mess up my make-up).

You know what's wrong with this world, besides all the war and violence and poverty and idiots in government and hunger and intolerance?

Jealousy. Jealousy is what's wrong with this world.

I know that you guys, my fans, know that I'm real. Well...MOST of me is real. I bought a few parts.

I put the 'tit' in Identity Crisis!